Tag: sober

One of the most powerful things that happens in recovery is this moment:

“Oh… that’s me.”

It doesn’t happen because someone is told what to think.
It happens because they see themselves—often for the first time—reflected in someone else’s story.

That is exactly what the Alcoholics Anonymous Big Book does so well.

As a licensed mental health counselor specializing in substance use and mental health, I often see clients arrive in therapy feeling confused, ashamed, or disconnected from their own story. Many say things like:

• “I don’t know when it became a problem.”
• “It wasn’t always this bad.”
• “I used to have control.”
• “My story doesn’t look like everyone else’s.”

This blog explores how the Big Book helps people organize, understand, and soften their drinking story, and why that process is so therapeutic in recovery.

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Why Our Drinking Stories Feel So Confusing

Most people don’t wake up one day and decide to have a substance use disorder.

Instead, their story often looks like this:

• drinking started as social, fun, or helpful
• alcohol or drugs reduced anxiety, pain, or loneliness
• use slowly increased during stress or life transitions
• consequences appeared gradually
• shame followed
• secrecy grew
• control disappeared

By the time someone enters recovery, their story feels tangled.

Clients often tell me:
“I don’t know how I got here.”

That confusion keeps people stuck. The Big Book offers structure when memory and emotions feel overwhelming.

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Storytelling as a Healing Tool

From a clinical perspective, storytelling is deeply therapeutic.

Narrative therapy teaches us that:

• making sense of our story reduces shame
• organizing events brings clarity
• separating identity from behavior restores self-worth
• shared stories reduce isolation

The Big Book uses personal stories not to persuade—but to normalize.

It says:
“You’re not alone.”
“You didn’t imagine this.”
“This pattern has a name.”

That validation alone can reduce emotional distress.

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“Bill’s Story”: Why It Matters So Much

One of the most impactful sections of the Big Book is Bill’s Story.

Not because it’s dramatic—but because it’s familiar.

People recognize:

• the promises to stop
• the justifications
• the comparisons to others
• the belief that “this time will be different”
• the shame spiral
• the despair

Clients often say:
“I thought my story wasn’t bad enough… until I read this.”

This isn’t about comparison—it’s about recognition.

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The Big Book Helps Separate the Person From the Problem

One of the most therapeutic aspects of the Big Book is how it separates who someone is from what alcohol did.

In counseling, we work hard to undo internalized labels:

• “I’m a failure.”
• “I’m irresponsible.”
• “I ruin everything.”

The Big Book reframes this by showing:

• patterns instead of defects
• illness instead of weakness
• progression instead of sudden collapse

This shift allows clients to say:
“This happened to me”
instead of
“This is who I am.”

That distinction is crucial for healing.

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Client Example: Finding Clarity Through Story

Laura, a 42-year-old mother, came into therapy saying:
“I don’t drink like those people. I never hit rock bottom.”

As she read the Big Book stories, she noticed:

• drinking increased during stress
• she hid how much she drank
• she felt relief followed by guilt
• she promised herself she’d cut back

One session she said:
“I see myself in these stories—and I don’t feel crazy anymore.”

That insight opened the door to honesty, compassion, and change.

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Why Understanding Your Story Helps Prevent Relapse

When someone doesn’t understand their drinking story, relapse feels sudden and shocking.

But when the story is clear, relapse becomes predictable—and preventable.

The Big Book helps people identify:

• emotional triggers
• stress patterns
• thinking traps
• rationalizations
• early warning signs

In therapy, we pair this insight with relapse prevention planning, helping clients say:
“I know this part of my story—and I can respond differently now.”

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Therapy and the Big Book: Making the Story Safe to Explore

The Big Book provides the narrative framework.
Therapy provides the emotional safety.

In counseling, we help clients:

• explore their story without judgment
• slow down self-blame
• process grief over lost time
• acknowledge survival strategies
• rewrite their future narrative

Together, AA and therapy help clients move from:
“Why am I like this?”
to
“This makes sense—and I can change it.”

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Reflection Questions for Readers

If you’re reading this and exploring your own recovery, consider journaling on:

• When did alcohol or substances start feeling necessary instead of optional?
• What was happening in my life at that time?
• What did substances give me emotionally?
• What did they eventually take from me?
• What parts of my story deserve compassion?

You don’t need to share your story yet.
You just need to start seeing it clearly.

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You Don’t Need a Dramatic Story to Deserve Recovery

One common myth is:
“My story isn’t bad enough.”

The Big Book quietly dismantles this belief.

Recovery isn’t about how much you lost—it’s about how much more you want from life.

If alcohol or drugs are:

• controlling your thoughts
• limiting your growth
• dulling your joy
• increasing shame

Then your story matters.

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Final Thoughts: Understanding Your Story Is the Beginning of Healing

The Big Book doesn’t tell people who they are.
It helps them recognize what’s been happening.

When someone can finally say:
“This is my story—and it makes sense,”
they can begin writing a new one.

Recovery isn’t about erasing the past.
It’s about understanding it—so it no longer controls the future.

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Up next in the series:
We continue with deeper insight into change, healing, and transformation.