For many, Thanksgiving is about food, family, and gratitude. But if you’re in recovery from substance use—or navigating trauma and mental health—it can feel a lot more complicated.
Maybe family gatherings bring up old wounds. Maybe you’re surrounded by people drinking. Maybe you’re just not feeling grateful right now, and that’s okay too.
This blog is for you if:
- You’re working on staying sober this holiday season
- You feel overwhelmed by family, expectations, or loneliness
- You want real, simple ways to cope and stay grounded
- You need to hear that it’s okay not to feel okay
Let’s talk about how to make it through Thanksgiving with your peace—and your sobriety—intact.
🍂 Why Thanksgiving Can Be Triggering in Recovery
While the world posts “thankful” quotes and pumpkin pie pictures, here’s what we know really happens for some:
- Family dynamics can be toxic or emotionally overwhelming
- Substance use is often normalized at holiday events
- Old roles (like the “black sheep,” “peacemaker,” or “fixer”) resurface
- Grief or loneliness is triggered by those who are no longer here
According to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), stress during the holidays increases relapse risk. Up to 66% of people in early recovery report cravings intensify around holidays due to social and emotional stress.
That means if you’re feeling it—you’re not alone, and there’s nothing wrong with you.
🧠 Coping with Triggers: What You Can Actually Do
Here are realistic strategies to help you stay grounded:
1. Have a Recovery Plan
Before Thanksgiving Day:
- Make a list of who/what might trigger you
- Decide where you’ll go, how long you’ll stay, and how to leave
- Let a support person know where you’ll be
- Bring your own car if you can—or pre-schedule a rideshare
🛑 Know that you are allowed to say no. You do not have to attend every dinner you’re invited to. Your recovery comes first.
2. Use the “3 Breath” Rule
Before reacting or reaching for a drink, try this:
- Inhale deeply through your nose
- Hold for 3 seconds
- Exhale slowly
Repeat 3 times. This slows your nervous system and gives you space to choose your response.
3. Create a Sober Space
If you’re going to a gathering:
- Bring your own non-alcoholic drinks
- Find a “sober buddy” at the event—or on text
- Step outside or take a walk if it gets too loud or tense
4. Use Gratitude as a Coping Tool (Not a Guilt Trip)
Gratitude doesn’t mean pretending everything is fine. It means finding even one thing that grounds you.
Try:
- “I’m grateful I’m choosing myself today.”
- “I’m grateful for the strength to change.”
- “I’m grateful for this moment to pause.”
Even on tough days, there’s power in the smallest wins.
❤️ Client Story: Jamila’s First Sober Thanksgiving
Jamila, a single mom in early recovery, had always used wine to “get through” holidays with her loud, opinionated family. Last year, she decided to try something different.
She told her sister ahead of time that she wasn’t drinking this year. She brought her own sparkling cider and stepped out for a walk when things got heated at dinner.
She left early, proud and clear-headed. “For the first time,” she said, “I didn’t have to wake up the next day filled with shame. I felt in control.”
🛠️ More Tools to Stay Sober During the Holidays
Here are some additional simple, client-tested tools that can help:
📝 1. “Just for Today” Journal
Write one small goal in the morning like:
- “Just for today, I will be kind to myself.”
- “Just for today, I will stay sober.”
This helps keep your focus simple and grounded.
📱 2. Download a Support App
Apps like I Am Sober, SoberTool, and Insight Timer offer daily affirmations, craving check-ins, and meditations to stay grounded on-the-go.
☎️ 3. Create a “Call List”
Pick 2–3 people who support your recovery. Text them beforehand and ask if they’ll be available if you need to check in. Connection is one of the best relapse prevention tools.
🌧️ What If I Relapse?
First—be kind to yourself. Relapse is not failure; it’s information.
Ask yourself:
- What triggered it?
- What helped before I used?
- Who can I talk to now to get back on track?
Recovery is a path, not a straight line. You can start again—today.
🙌 Choose Presence Over Perfection
Whether you’re surrounded by family or spending the day on your own, remember:
✅ You don’t need to impress anyone
✅ You don’t need to be grateful for things that hurt you
✅ You don’t need to be perfect to keep growing
Choosing to stay sober—even for one more day—is a big deal. That’s something to be proud of.
🧡 Let’s Talk: How Do You Stay Grounded During the Holidays?
We want to hear your voice.
👇 Drop a comment below:
- What’s your biggest challenge during Thanksgiving?
- What helps you stay sober and sane when emotions run high?
Your story might help someone else find hope this holiday season.
Counseling Carmen 