The backpacks are packed. The alarms are set. And just like that—summer is over.
For many parents, back-to-school season brings a whirlwind of emotions. There’s excitement, yes—but there’s also pressure, exhaustion, and anxiety. For parents who are in recovery or struggling with substance use, this time of year can feel like walking a tightrope while carrying the weight of the world.
If this sounds like you, you’re not alone.
Whether you’re trying to stay clean, thinking about getting help, or just trying to keep it together for your kids—this blog is for you.
The Truth About Parenting Stress and Substance Use
Parenting is hard. Parenting with anxiety is even harder. And when substance use enters the picture—whether it’s alcohol, pills, or anything else—it can feel impossible to cope.
According to a 2023 study by the National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA):
- 1 in 8 parents report using substances to manage stress
- Parents with high levels of anxiety or untreated trauma are significantly more likely to engage in problem drinking or drug use
- The risk spikes during transitional times—like back-to-school, holidays, or major family changes
Add the financial strain of new clothes, school supplies, daycare, or juggling work schedules—and the urge to “numb out” becomes real.
Meet Angela: A Single Mom Trying to Hold It Together
Angela is a 38-year-old single mom of two boys, ages 6 and 9. She works full time, has no consistent support system, and is in early recovery after struggling with alcohol for years.
When school started last year, her anxiety skyrocketed. She worried about everything—getting the boys to school on time, affording lunches, keeping up with homework, and not losing her job.
One night after a particularly rough day, she poured herself a glass of wine. Then another. Then another.
“I just wanted to relax,” she said in therapy. “But the next morning, I woke up ashamed, hungover, and even more behind.”
Through counseling, Angela began identifying her triggers and building healthier routines. She also found support through a local parenting recovery group. Today, she’s still clean, still stressed—but no longer alone.
Red Flags: Is School Stress Putting Your Sobriety at Risk?
Not every parent who drinks or uses is addicted—but it’s important to recognize the signs that your relationship with substances might be hurting more than helping.
Here are some red flags to watch for:
- You’re using substances to “get through the day” or “take the edge off” regularly
- You feel guilty or try to hide your use from your kids
- Your patience is short, and your anxiety feels out of control
- You’re falling behind on responsibilities
- You’ve tried to cut back, but haven’t been able to
- You feel shame, sadness, or panic after using
- You worry you’re not the parent your kids need
If any of these feel familiar, it’s not a sign of weakness—it’s a signal that you deserve support.
How to Cope Without Turning to Substances
When the stress is high, here are real tools that can help:
1. Create a Morning & Evening Routine
Routines reduce chaos. Try to wake up 15 minutes earlier to breathe, stretch, or enjoy quiet. In the evenings, plan lunches and clothes ahead to reduce morning stress.
2. Have a Calm-Down Plan
Keep a list of grounding tools handy for high-stress moments:
- Step outside for 5 minutes
- Splash cold water on your face
- Use a calming app like Insight Timer or Headspace
- Text someone from your support network
3. Set Boundaries
You can’t do it all. Say no to extra commitments. Delegate where you can. Prioritize your mental health the way you would your child’s.
4. Talk to Your Kids
Even young children understand emotions. You can say:
“Mommy is feeling stressed today, and I’m working on handling it in healthy ways. That’s why I’m taking a deep breath or calling someone.”
This models coping, not perfection.
5. Join a Support Group
Look for parent-focused recovery groups or online meetings. Feeling seen and heard by others in the same boat can make all the difference.
Staying Clean During High-Stress Seasons
Recovery isn’t about never feeling triggered. It’s about building a toolbox you can actually use when stress shows up.
Here’s what works:
- Daily check-ins: Ask yourself, How am I feeling today? What do I need?
- Accountability: A sponsor, therapist, or friend can help you stay grounded.
- Celebrate small wins: Got your kid to school and didn’t drink today? That’s a win.
- Avoid “all or nothing” thinking: If you slip up, it’s not the end. It’s a signal to adjust and reach out.
If You’re Still Using and Feel Overwhelmed, Here’s What You Can Do
You don’t have to hit rock bottom to ask for help. You can be a good parent and need support. Both things can be true.
Here’s how to start:
- Call a local mental health or substance use counselor
- Look for outpatient programs that work around your schedule
- Ask about services for parents—many programs offer childcare, parenting classes, or transportation help
- Talk to your doctor—even just saying, “I’m feeling overwhelmed, and I’m using more than I want to,” is a step forward
You’re Not Failing—You’re Under Pressure
School supply lists, teacher emails, forgotten lunches, and bedtime battles don’t come with a manual. Add substance use recovery or anxiety on top of that, and of course you’re feeling stretched thin.
But you are not failing.
Getting help, setting limits, showing up imperfectly—that’s real strength. Your children don’t need a perfect parent. They need a present one.
💬 Let’s Talk: How Are You Coping with Back-to-School Stress?
If you’re a parent in recovery or struggling with substance use, I’d love to hear from you.
👉 What’s been hardest about this time of year?
👉 What tools help you stay calm and clean?
Drop a comment below—your story may help another parent feel less alone. And if you’re struggling silently, let this be your reminder: you don’t have to do this alone.
Counseling Carmen 